I’m not trying to be a pain in your ass, you just make it way too easy to pick on you.

Your ego is the least attractive part about you…it is also the most sizable part about you.

You use being a “guy” as an excuse for everything, rather than admitting you’re a chicken shit.

You wanted me to take meds that would make me impotent. You said “I don’t care if you are impotent.” Well I sure as hell care!!!!!

Small breasted women should not wear sports bras.

My bipolar disorder and your borderline personality disorder just didn’t coexist happily.

I hate you. No, I love you. No, I was right the first time: I hate you.

You were a constant noise in my head. Even when I was alone there was a buzz of whining bitchiness. Now you are gone and so is the noise…

Every time you turned your back I gave you the finger.

You kept saying “You hate me!” And I kept saying “I don’t hate you, I love you!” Well you know what? You were right. I do hate you.

You’ve never done me a favor without throwing it in my face later.

You use words like “Yummy” and “delish.”

You kept coming over to my house and screaming that I didn’t love you. Well it is hard to love someone who screams so much.

I got nervous every time you picked up a sharp knife.

You keep talking about your blog and what your blog is like and how you plan to describe each event in your blog. You even take notes about what you experience so that you can put it in your blog,. But your blog doesn’t exist. You don’t have a blog. I’m not sure you even know what a blog is.

You tried to put a keylogger on my computer.

Every two weeks you would drive three hours round trip to go to a beauty salon in the next state. And they would put some shit in your hair that would make me sick to my stomach.

You say supposebly.

I don’t mind you reading my email. There’s nothing interesting in there. What I mind is you being sneaky about it.

You’re a zumba instructor.

He wears tube socks.

You want to know what my problem is? It’s you asshole.

You had too many weird annoying habits.  You cant “close the lights”, you can however “shut the lights off.”  You can’t go “stand on-line.” It’s go “stand in line”.  You’re in college I shouldn’t have to explain this.

I think you wanted me to be the mother figure you never had…you were one sick fuck

You seemed like a good idea at the time, but in retrospect I can only say “What the heck was I thinking?? I must be a complete idiot!!!”