Why U Got Dumped

admin — Thu, 06 Oct 2011 18:02:24 +0000

You straight up said that your mother is the only person who can love you the way you want to be loved. BUH BYE.

admin — Thu, 06 Oct 2011 18:01:55 +0000

Yes, I’ve heard of the company you work for. Shut up about it.

admin — Thu, 06 Oct 2011 18:01:20 +0000

The fact that you’ve asked me the same “getting to know you” questions every time we meet leads me to believe you’re “getting to know” quite a few people.

admin — Sat, 01 Oct 2011 16:13:18 +0000

I really didn’t like that you encouraged me to walk around your apartment without my shirt on while your roommate was home.

admin — Sat, 01 Oct 2011 16:11:56 +0000

I can’t understand a word you’re saying when your hammered and that’s like 70% of the time.

admin — Thu, 29 Sep 2011 19:19:50 +0000

I don’t want to spend anymore Sundays shootin the shit with the locals at Starbucks.

admin — Wed, 28 Sep 2011 19:19:45 +0000

Your comb-over got too ridiculous and even though I told you time and time again I loved the way you looked when you didn’t use a barrel of gel to hide the top of your head you had to do it anyways. I’m sorry to do this but you look like someone gave you a swirly.

admin — Wed, 28 Sep 2011 19:17:59 +0000

You started wearing a bowler hat.

admin — Wed, 28 Sep 2011 19:17:22 +0000

You constantly turn your shit around on me. I’m so sorry your job tires you out. Gosh, that must be really hard on you. Shut up. Be a man. Grow a pair.

admin — Tue, 27 Sep 2011 16:22:31 +0000

You can’t build a relationship via text.

admin — Tue, 27 Sep 2011 16:20:42 +0000

She spent all my money…and I got dumped.

admin — Thu, 22 Sep 2011 17:48:28 +0000

You have self-control and I do not. This will never work.

admin — Thu, 22 Sep 2011 17:48:01 +0000

I’m so glad your life is awesome. If it’s so good without me then why did we even bother dating?

admin — Thu, 22 Sep 2011 17:46:09 +0000

I kind of just wish you were better.

admin — Wed, 21 Sep 2011 21:19:57 +0000

You think I’m a flake…maybe you should take a hint.

admin — Wed, 21 Sep 2011 21:19:14 +0000

Despite how cute you think it is, my body is not your drum .

admin — Wed, 21 Sep 2011 21:18:28 +0000

foreplay. please look it up.

admin — Tue, 20 Sep 2011 16:59:03 +0000

Your home has a constant scent of garbage…but it’s very unclear and unsettling as to where it is coming from.

admin — Tue, 20 Sep 2011 16:57:21 +0000

I asked you to move in with me. You put the fear of god into me by saying “if I wasn’t intending to marry you I should never ask you to move in”. So I thought about it, and asked you again to move in. You declined saying you never want to get married.

admin — Mon, 19 Sep 2011 16:26:07 +0000

Girls who go to strip clubs….

admin — Mon, 19 Sep 2011 16:25:33 +0000

You’re a 28 year old man who on a first date took a 28 year old woman to a comic book store.

admin — Mon, 19 Sep 2011 15:38:04 +0000

Just sit up straight and stop wearing socks with sandals.

admin — Sun, 18 Sep 2011 16:20:01 +0000

I’m never ever going to memorize every Quentin Tarantino movie. That is useless and unnecessary information for my life.

admin — Sun, 18 Sep 2011 16:18:00 +0000

You can’t only be nice to me when I’m in bed with you and expect that I’ll keep getting into bed with you.

admin — Sun, 18 Sep 2011 16:16:35 +0000

I could smell the desperation coming off of you.