Archive for September, 2011
I don’t want to spend anymore Sundays shootin the shit with the locals at Starbucks.
Sep 29, 2011 - No Comments
Your comb-over got too ridiculous and even though I told you time and time again I loved the way you looked when you didn’t use a barrel of gel to hide the top of your head you had to do it anyways. I’m sorry to do this but you look like someone gave you a swirly.
Sep 28, 2011 - No Comments
You constantly turn your shit around on me. I’m so sorry your job tires you out. Gosh, that must be really hard on you. Shut up. Be a man. Grow a pair.
Sep 28, 2011 - No Comments
I’m so glad your life is awesome. If it’s so good without me then why did we even bother dating?
Sep 22, 2011 - No Comments
Your home has a constant scent of garbage…but it’s very unclear and unsettling as to where it is coming from.
Sep 20, 2011 - No Comments
I asked you to move in with me. You put the fear of god into me by saying “if I wasn’t intending to marry you I should never ask you to move in”. So I thought about it, and asked you again to move in. You declined saying you never want to get married.
Sep 20, 2011 - No Comments
You’re a 28 year old man who on a first date took a 28 year old woman to a comic book store.
Sep 19, 2011 - No Comments
I’m never ever going to memorize every Quentin Tarantino movie. That is useless and unnecessary information for my life.
Sep 18, 2011 - No Comments
You can’t only be nice to me when I’m in bed with you and expect that I’ll keep getting into bed with you.
Sep 18, 2011 - No Comments
I know how often you look at your cellphone…even when you’re with me that thing is like your air supply. So the fact that you haven’t returned any of my texts because ‘you’ve been so busy” is complete bullshit. Use your brain and don’t worry you don’t need to call me any more. I won’t answer anyways.
Sep 15, 2011 - No Comments
You’re brave but you’re an idiot. Never eat glass to impress a girls family again.
Sep 15, 2011 - No Comments
