Archive for July, 2011

You went to the pound to get another dog and came back with another girlfriend. There is only room for one bitch… I’m out.

Jul 22, 2011 - No Comments

Life with you was like walking on eggshells through a minefield laid on very thin and brittle ice over a lake of smoldering jet fuel. So yeah, I’m a bit happier now that you’re gone.

Jul 22, 2011 - No Comments

We used to fight after we had bad sex. Then we started to fight after good sex. See ya!

Jul 21, 2011 - No Comments

I found you trying on my bras. It was even more awkward because it was the first time I had you over.

Jul 21, 2011 - No Comments

You put your boo boo face far too often. And you called it your boo boo face.

Jul 21, 2011 - No Comments

I waited 2 years and you never said it back.

Jul 21, 2011 - No Comments

Your accent is so thick I can only smile and nod so much.

Jul 21, 2011 - No Comments

You are so boring. And that’s why I yawn so much!

Jul 20, 2011 - No Comments

Your face resembles a catfish, and beleive me, I didn’t think so until my sister said something.

Jul 20, 2011 - No Comments

We all know how awesome you are, you’re mother tells us.

Jul 20, 2011 - No Comments

Untrustworthy. Nuff said.

Jul 19, 2011 - No Comments

You need to not bring up guns in every conversation. It scares people.

Jul 19, 2011 - No Comments

You never where hats that fit, but you always where hats.

Jul 19, 2011 - No Comments

You’re obsession with superman is overwhelming. I think you’re gay. I’m going to leave you to explore that.

Jul 19, 2011 - No Comments

You base your entire identity on the music you listen to…you’re 35 now…stop it.

Jul 15, 2011 - No Comments

You hold hands with your Mom….

Jul 15, 2011 - No Comments

You replace your “th” sounds with “y” sounds.

Jul 15, 2011 - No Comments

In everyone’s opinion you look like someone who might kill someone some day. Even though I don’t see it…I don’t want to be the girl that dated the crazy eyed guy…

Jul 14, 2011 - No Comments

No, you were totally in the right to dump me at my sisters wedding. Great timing.

Jul 14, 2011 - No Comments

You make me think very angry thoughts.

Jul 14, 2011 - No Comments

Your allergic to my cat.

Jul 13, 2011 - No Comments

Your neighbors are super annoying and I hate being at your house.

Jul 13, 2011 - No Comments

I asked you to pick up some milk on your way over…not stop buy me a ring and get a tux.

Jul 12, 2011 - No Comments

My insecurities sucked all the life out of our relationship like a flesh-eating parasite. Sorry I was such a psycho bitch…I deserved to be dumped.

Jul 12, 2011 - No Comments

After 18months together, talks about engagement, marriage and life together, I got dumped for her love of horses. And less then a week later, a guy who’s a registered sex offender with 4 horses. Wonder how she’ll feel when next month he’ll be sitting in jail 2months for the crimes he did. WTF!

Jul 12, 2011 - No Comments