Archive for July, 2011

you did ecstasy and slept with a homeless hippie.

Jul 31, 2011 - No Comments

Yes I know your brother is a commander in the Navy. Now shut up about it.

Jul 31, 2011 - No Comments

Out of the hundreds of times that we had sex, you never once got me off, and I got sick of faking it. Oh, and you never brushed your teeth before bed…

Jul 31, 2011 - No Comments

You were high at my work bbq, and really grubbed out on the potato salad.

Jul 30, 2011 - No Comments

You  yelled at my 3yr old cousin in front of my entire family.

Jul 30, 2011 - No Comments

You’re the guy always yelling “shots shots shots shots” at every bar or party we go to

Jul 28, 2011 - No Comments

You frown at children

Jul 28, 2011 - No Comments

I really tried to get used to your lazy eye. I did.

Jul 27, 2011 - No Comments

Maybe if you weren’t so passive aggressive, you wouldn’t have found out via text that we are through.

Jul 26, 2011 - No Comments

You talk about my bowel movements to your friends.

Jul 26, 2011 - No Comments

You invited me to your family reunion and your high school reunion at the same time on our 2nd date.

Jul 26, 2011 - No Comments

I shouldn’t have ever given you a key. You never leave.

Jul 25, 2011 - No Comments

You think that everyone cares about what you do. No one gives a damn that you work in reality tv. In fact they probably feel bad for you.

Jul 25, 2011 - No Comments

mouth breather mouth breather mouth breather

Jul 25, 2011 - No Comments

I could never tell which was the good eye, but they never both looked at me at the same time.

Jul 25, 2011 - No Comments

Your dad has a gun collection that I do not want to get acquainted with.

Jul 24, 2011 - No Comments

You still can’t pronounce my name. It’s been 3 months. It’s over.

Jul 24, 2011 - No Comments

You farted at my mother’s dinner table laughed about it and tried to high five my dad. Not the lady I thought I was bringing home.

Jul 24, 2011 - No Comments

You ate baby food regularly.

Jul 24, 2011 - No Comments

You never let anyone take your picture. Never. Not one.

Jul 23, 2011 - No Comments

Your brother broke up with me for you.

Jul 23, 2011 - No Comments

On our 6th year anniversary I expected a ring and you told me you didn’t want to rush into anything.

Jul 23, 2011 - No Comments

You rolled your eyes at everything. Puppies, babies, roses, diamonds, everything.

Jul 22, 2011 - No Comments

You’re mom had it out for me. Pretty sure she fed me cat food.

Jul 22, 2011 - No Comments

You don’t high five. Who just doesn’t high five???

Jul 22, 2011 - No Comments