Archive for February, 2011

We went skinny dipping and that was when you decided to tell me it wasn’t me it was you.

Feb 28, 2011 - No Comments

She dumped me because she said she was depressed . Then a week later she says it was all about me

Feb 28, 2011 - No Comments

I got dumped because he got me pregnant. C’est la vie…I slashed his tires and keyed his car, now he has a REAL reason to say he dumped me.

Feb 28, 2011 - No Comments

You liked the Oscars this year.

Feb 28, 2011 - No Comments

You mentioned pulling an OJ one to many times.

Feb 27, 2011 - No Comments

You think Piece Brosnan was a bad Bond.

Feb 27, 2011 - No Comments

You only talk to your close friends in Spanish when I’m around because you know I don’t speak Spanish. But guess what, I’ve learned a few key words and you’re a Puto Baboso Culo-FACE.

Feb 27, 2011 - No Comments

I introduced her one week as my friend (not smart) and next week as my girlfriend (even worse). So I am now friendless and single.

Feb 27, 2011 - No Comments

You just talk and touch too much. Everyone you talk to…you physically touch them. All the time.

Feb 27, 2011 - No Comments

Just because you once worked with an Oscar nominated actor does not mean you were nominated by proxy.

Feb 27, 2011 - No Comments

You couldn’t even keep the little promises, so why should I have had faith that you would have kept the big ones?

Feb 26, 2011 - No Comments

You kept YOUR 2 very large mastiffs in my not so large downtown Manhattan apartment & got annoyed with me because the apartment constantly smelled like dog.

Feb 26, 2011 - No Comments

I was so sick I literally used up all my energy just getting out of bed & walking 30 feet to the bathroom. You managed to over look the fact that I was mind numbingly ill & harped about the fact that I didn’t do my hair or make up or put on any cute outfits “for you”.

Feb 26, 2011 - No Comments

Its not that you went to strip clubs, its that you never asked me if I wanted to go.

Feb 25, 2011 - No Comments

Trying to get you to understand, or at the very least look at, my point of view was like trying to take a t-bone steak away from a starving pitbull… It wasn’t going to happen or end well no matter how I tried.

Feb 25, 2011 - No Comments

You’re a close talker and a heavy breather. I understand Seinfeld on a totally new level.

Feb 25, 2011 - No Comments

Your logic, or lack there of, still astounds me to this day. You some how felt that if you did any & everything but actual intercourse with another chick you were NOT cheating. Yet, if I so much looked in the direction of another guy for “too long” I was a backstabbing two timing whore.

Feb 25, 2011 - No Comments

You, a born & raised Uptown New Yorker, had the audacity to wear a Boston Red Socks hat to a Yankees game… & not just any Yankees game, a World Series  home game.

Feb 25, 2011 - No Comments

I understand that family is/can be very important, but the fact that you chose your sisters side over mine every time was not ok. Especially because this is the sister who lied to you, stole from you & snitched on you…

Feb 25, 2011 - No Comments

I’m White, you’re Latino, that is obvious from the jump. So why the hell did you feel the need to constantly mention/gloat about how you “got yourself a white girl”? I had myself a moron but I don’t feel the need to constantly state the obvious.

Feb 24, 2011 - No Comments

You forgot that being monogamous meant no sexual interludes or long term physical relationships with others.

Feb 24, 2011 - No Comments

I had a broken jaw, it was wired shut for a month. Your biggest concern wasn’t how I was doing or feeling. Your biggest concern was that I wouldn’t be able to give you a blow-job.

Feb 24, 2011 - No Comments

I loved some of the things we did together like sushi dinner Mondays, spades with the Homies Wednesdays , etc. I didn’t love some of the things you did by yourself like how you had Freaky Fridays, Scotra Saturdays & Side Chick Sundays.

Feb 24, 2011 - No Comments

We had been dating for a few weeks and it was going to be the night that we were going to have sex…and as we went into my bedroom under your breath you said I can’t wait for you to sit on my face.

Feb 24, 2011 - No Comments

I know we spend a little too much time together, living, working and sharing every car ride ever together…but I will dump you if you do not start turning of your message notification sound on iChat.

Feb 24, 2011 - No Comments