Archive for November, 2010
I don’t know how or why, but your hair smelled very similar to my dog’s hair when it goes out in the rain.
Nov 28, 2010 - No Comments
I told you that I didn’t like to have my nipple bitten. Instead of staying away from it altogether, you send me to the emergency room for 8 stitches!
Nov 28, 2010 - No Comments
I was really excited about going on a date with you. You called me that morning and told me that you couldn’t have fun with me because I had not sent you 5 emails the day before saying how excited I was to be going on a date with you. You’re mentally ill.
Nov 28, 2010 - No Comments
You forced me to go shopping with you every weekend. The mall became my personal hell.
Nov 27, 2010 - No Comments
I had to wait 4 months for my first blowjob. The next one happened 3 months after that. I wasn’t willing to see how long it would take for the third.
Nov 27, 2010 - No Comments
Never again will I let you go “shot for shot” with me. Too many of my friends have seen your boobs.
Nov 26, 2010 - No Comments
I invited you to my family’s house for Thanksgiving. I don’t know when it was over but it may have been when you sat on my parent’s nightstand and pee’d.
Nov 26, 2010 - No Comments
You slept with me because of how well I did at “Big Buck Hunter.” I knew it wouldn’t last.
Nov 26, 2010 - No Comments
I couldn’t look you in the eye knowing that you stole money from my little brother.
Nov 26, 2010 - No Comments
You went to see my sister’s kid at the hospital and I made a joke about the newborn being bigger than you. I thought it was funny…you didn’t. I got dumped.
Nov 25, 2010 - No Comments
I dumped you because you told my parents that we were late to dinner because we were in the middle of great sex.
Nov 25, 2010 - No Comments
You weren’t good at anything. You would burn toast, couldn’t hold a conversation with your boyfriend, and you never wanted to have sex. In summary, you sucked.
Nov 25, 2010 - No Comments
You talked about my ass to other guys AND to me. Wasn’t attractive neither you mostly saying you loved me after about a month THEN dating my sister and almost telling her the same. You better not hurt her.
Nov 25, 2010 - No Comments
I got dumped because you wanted to be with a man. And I just don’t have the right parts for that.
Nov 25, 2010 - No Comments
I got dumped because you couldn’t admit that we were perfect for each other. Nothing ever went wrong. One day you’ll realize what you lost. Good luck.
Nov 25, 2010 - No Comments
You tried having a conversation with my mother about how glad you were that cranberry sauce was a traditional Thanksgiving favorite. You proceeded to then tell her about your Urinary Tract Infection.
Nov 25, 2010 - No Comments
Because every time you had PMS you made me feel like I wanted to die. And I’m not exaggerating.
Nov 25, 2010 - No Comments
Happy Turkey Day! Don’t go insulting your in-laws and getting yourself DUMPED!
Nov 25, 2010 - No Comments
