You straight up said that your mother is the only person who can love you the way you want to be loved. BUH BYE.


Oct 06, 2011 - No Comments

Yes, I’ve heard of the company you work for. Shut up about it.


Oct 06, 2011 - No Comments

The fact that you’ve asked me the same “getting to know you” questions every time we meet leads me to believe you’re “getting to know” quite a few people.


Oct 06, 2011 - No Comments

I really didn’t like that you encouraged me to walk around your apartment without my shirt on while your roommate was home.


Oct 01, 2011 - No Comments

I can’t understand a word you’re saying when your hammered and that’s like 70% of the time.


Oct 01, 2011 - No Comments

I don’t want to spend anymore Sundays shootin the shit with the locals at Starbucks.


Sep 29, 2011 - No Comments

Your comb-over got too ridiculous and even though I told you time and time again I loved the way you looked when you didn’t use a barrel of gel to hide the top of your head you had to do it anyways. I’m sorry to do this but you look like someone gave you a swirly.


Sep 28, 2011 - No Comments

You started wearing a bowler hat.


Sep 28, 2011 - No Comments

You constantly turn your shit around on me. I’m so sorry your job tires you out. Gosh, that must be really hard on you. Shut up. Be a man. Grow a pair.


Sep 28, 2011 - No Comments

You can’t build a relationship via text.


Sep 27, 2011 - No Comments

She spent all my money…and I got dumped.


Sep 27, 2011 - No Comments

You have self-control and I do not. This will never work.


Sep 22, 2011 - No Comments

I’m so glad your life is awesome. If it’s so good without me then why did we even bother dating?


Sep 22, 2011 - No Comments

I kind of just wish you were better.


Sep 22, 2011 - No Comments

You think I’m a flake…maybe you should take a hint.


Sep 21, 2011 - No Comments

Despite how cute you think it is, my body is not your drum .


Sep 21, 2011 - No Comments

foreplay. please look it up.


Sep 21, 2011 - No Comments

Your home has a constant scent of garbage…but it’s very unclear and unsettling as to where it is coming from.


Sep 20, 2011 - No Comments

I asked you to move in with me. You put the fear of god into me by saying “if I wasn’t intending to marry you I should never ask you to move in”. So I thought about it, and asked you again to move in. You declined saying you never want to get married.


Sep 20, 2011 - No Comments

Girls who go to strip clubs….


Sep 19, 2011 - No Comments

You’re a 28 year old man who on a first date took a 28 year old woman to a comic book store.


Sep 19, 2011 - No Comments

Just sit up straight and stop wearing socks with sandals.


Sep 19, 2011 - No Comments

I’m never ever going to memorize every Quentin Tarantino movie. That is useless and unnecessary information for my life.


Sep 18, 2011 - No Comments

You can’t only be nice to me when I’m in bed with you and expect that I’ll keep getting into bed with you.


Sep 18, 2011 - No Comments

I could smell the desperation coming off of you.


Sep 18, 2011 - No Comments