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She dumped me last night when she walked in on her sister showing me some piercings, how was I supposed to know where?

April 18, 2013 | No Comments

We were on again off again, but we are off now because I learned that his ex really was his golden retriever.

April 18, 2013 | 1 Comment

I got drunk and peed on a bed.

April 17, 2013 | No Comments

A mobster once told me: A man who drinks too much is not a man in control and is worth nothing. He was right about you.

April 17, 2013 | No Comments

He is the last Grunge rocker left on the planet. Smells like teen spirit? Smells more like ass.

April 17, 2013 | No Comments

You kept telling me your stories about how annoying your day was over and over and over and over and over … and that was annoying.

April 16, 2013 | No Comments

The minute he said he was house shopping was the minute I knew our relationship wasn’t going go past a one-month stand– enough time to have my good time with him, but not so much as to become emotionally or seriously involved.

April 16, 2013 | 1 Comment

I do not care one bit about baseball season.

April 16, 2013 | No Comments

I said I didn’t like  Breaking Bad…

April 16, 2013 | No Comments

I actually want a life outside of video games and living at my parents. I’ve dated you since I was 13. I’m now 20 and you have not changed, but I have. Enjoy your WoW, hope you level to the MAX!

April 15, 2013 | No Comments

You broke up with me, but remain civil because we share the same circle of friends. You are really making a huge effort to “remain friends”. If I un-friend you on facebook, will you finally get the message and leave me alone?

April 15, 2013 | No Comments

I talked too much about him to other people instead of just asking him. If you can’t figure it out, you should probably just ask.

April 14, 2013 | No Comments

You never got my number because I don’t give that kind of information when I am stopped at a traffic light.

April 14, 2013 | No Comments

You thought I would be jealous when you brought your ex to a party. Sadly, you failed to realize the past few years had not been kind to her. Nice try. You still aren’t getting me back.

April 13, 2013 | No Comments

I got dumped because his wife told him enough was enough.

April 13, 2013 | No Comments

You got dumped because I found out it wasnt razor burn!

April 13, 2013 | No Comments

Your daily wardrobe is too heavily influenced by AMC programming. Thank God The Walking Dead is on hiatus.

April 12, 2013 | No Comments

Shut up your face about your cheat day. Just eat food like a person.

April 12, 2013 | No Comments

saying hashtag in every conversation is not cute.

April 11, 2013 | No Comments

I thought I really liked you…but then your emotional needs started to be a regular thing and I just don’t like you enough.

April 11, 2013 | No Comments